Poems, the Past, and Future Misadventures

Damn, it feels good to be blogging again, even if most of it is me babbling. And thanks for reading. Makes the world a little less lonely. :)

Anyhow... Week two on the new job. Still not bad. As long as I have my music, the day goes by fairly quickly. And it doesn't get any easier than entering new employee forms all day. Not the most exciting job, but after being unemployed for two months, anything is a relief.

So, a friend of mine does book binding and we've been thinking about binding one of my poetry collections for a few months now. We're aiming for after the new year to start getting to business on that. So, I spent a lot of last night and today going back over the collection--tightening up some of the poems, rearranging the whole thing (what was I thinking when I put it together), rearrranging it again. Anyhow, point being, reading all that took me back. I write the majority of that collection while I was in my "dark period" during my first few months in San Diego (and I thought California wouldn't show up in this blog) and, DAMN, the things that can happen in a short time! That's another thing that scares me besides the whole "When someone you know becomes someone you knew..." deal. I try not to think too far ahead anymore because so much can happen in just a month. Hell, just a month ago, I had no idea I'd be moving back to Austin. And a few months before that, New York was just a seed of an idea in my mind. Who woulda thunk I'd work up the nerve to take a two week trip east by myself? I'm still shocked at myself for considering moving out there. As I've told plenty of people, I have no idea what's pulling me out there, but I'm following it.

I still have plenty of doubtful moments. Those voices in my head scream "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Especially now that I'm back home. Those same voices are urging me to settle. And Lord knows I wouldn't mind settling down for a bit. But I know I can't do that here. Not yet. Again, don't know why. Just know I can't. It would be easy, but I've got more misadventures waiting for me.

Either way, New York is waiting. Who knows what'll happen out there. But, I survived CA; I'll survive the other coast. Just gonna enjoy this quiet Austin interlude while I can.

J