Still FUNKy

I've managed to pin down at least one part of this funk. I've got this heavy, nasty feeling of loneliness. I don't know where it sprang from or how it snowballed like this, but I haven't felt like this in a good while. There's a feeling of isolation from everything around me, and it's scary. Detachment. That's the word I'm looking for. It's hard for me to get excited about anything now. When I was in New York, I looked like a stunned kid, with a goofy smile plastered in my face. That's the last time I remember being excited.

Now... I'm just blah. I wake up, go to work (which is going pretty well) and zone out with my data entry. Then I come home, pass a few hours, and go to bed to do it again.

I'm restless, too. As soon as I get home, I'm looking for someone to call or somewhere to go. I have the feeling I'm subconsciously avoiding whatever's going on with me. It's hard for me to even sit down and write anymore, despite how much I know I have to get some work done. And when I can't write, that's bad news. Makes me feel crazier when I haven't written.

Anyhow, I hung out with my best friend last night and it did wonders. He's one of the few people who can make me laugh when I feel this down. I can't rely on that everyday, though. Maybe I'll feel better after a shower. I hope all is well and everyone's getting into the holiday spirit.

J